You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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