I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
