Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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