Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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