I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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