btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
