you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
