That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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