Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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