I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
