ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
