peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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