Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
