Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
