she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
