Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
You can't just leave with hair like that
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
