She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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