i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I need to calm my uterus...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
