is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
