Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
