if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
