That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just had sex bonerless
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
