The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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