And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
