I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
