You smell like stripper and shame
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
