You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
