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• (207): View more from Maine

  i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Let me guess--your parents are cousins.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"

  (205): View more from Alabama

  pick me up NOW

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks

  (1403): View more from

  That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills

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• (831): View more from California

  high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.

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