you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
