wanna go halves on a baby?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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