The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
