I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
