Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
