I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I love you. Go after that dick
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