I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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