I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
