I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
