We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
