Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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