i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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