You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
