I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
