My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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