That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
