The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We had to coat check the pizza.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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