the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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