i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
