I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
