I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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