that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
